A tangled web we cut
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Star took a BIT longer to 'save' Marco from Hekapoo...and now she'll have to face the consequences... "Running with Scissors" AU. A story idea from Wolvenstrom.
1. Chapter 1

**A tangled web we cut**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...

Deep within a dark realm...a masked stranger approaches his destiny...The two Hekapoo standing guard never knew what hit them. Without breaking his stride, the stranger crossed out the last two clones in his journal and walked in the structure to find Hekapoo waiting for him...

...So it finally comes down to this...all these years...so many clones...I finally tracked you down.

Hekapoo smiled, "Yep, the real me. No more clones...I'm really proud of you, y'know." She said happily.

The stranger smiles, "Thanks." Without another word...he blows out her flame.

Heekapoo brushes away a tear as she hands him the scissors she'd made for him so long ago...

 **BANG!**

"HEKAPOO! WHERE'S MARCO!?" Demanded Star Butterfly. Hekapoo sighed, _"Well, this is going to be awkward."_ She thinks to herself.

Star looks over to the hooded figure, "Marco...? Is that you?"

The figure winched, "Uh...not exactly." He admits as he takes off the hood revealing a human-ish boy with white hair and horns.

"I'm Lincoln Diaz...hi." He admits awkwardly.

Star frowns, "Wait...Diaz? But that's marco's last name..." She says confused.

Heekapoo chuckles, "Yeah, well since I don't really have a last name...it just seemed right."

"Say what?" Asked Star.

Heekapoo sighed, "Right...look Star, there's probably a HUNDRED better ways to say this...but I'm not really a 'people' demon...so I'm just going to be straight with you: Marco's been here 24 years to your worlds 12 minutes and in that time Marco won my scissors and respect, we got married and had 11 kids."

Star's mouth went wide, "Uh...wha?" She asked in disbelief. Heekapoo shrugged, "Sorry, but you should have got here faster."

Star did what any person would do in such a situation...faint.

 _I could've started looking for Marco immediately, but NO...I had to get a Churro first..."_

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: This was a story idea requested from Wolvenstrom**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

**A tangled web we cut**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

Star Butterfly groaned as she struggled to get awake...

"Seriously?! You couldn't have told me about the time difference?!" Demanded a a gruff adult voice. Star rose from a bed and turned toward a big hunk of a man arguing with Hekapoo.

Hekapoo shrugged, "You didn't ask." "I didn't- I just- You- The man grumbled in annoyed exasperation while the she-demon just laughed.

Star moaned, "Uh, excuse me? Who are you?"

Both adults looked over to the teen, the man sighed. "Okay...Star...it's me...Marco." He said gently.

Star's eye's just went wide as all her memories of what happened earlier came back to her, "SAY WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT!?" She shouted.

 **CRASH!**

-and then a nearby door collapses under the weight of numerous kids pressing against it trying to hear what's going on.

Marco groaned, "Oh, and these are my kids."

"Hi." Pipped up Lincoln as his sister waved from the floor.

...Which was of course Star's que to faint again...

...

Star sighed as she ate some fire-frog stew after waking up again, "You know Marco...I might've been mad at you about abusing and losing the scissors, but i would've gotten over it."

Hekapoo rolled her eye's with a chuckle, "Yeah, little late with the advice their sweetie." She teased.

Marco coughed, "Anyway, let me introduce you to my kids." He points to the kids who were a whole gambit of pale or tan skin, red and brown hair and all the other mix and matches you can get...

"This is my eldest, Lori." Lori looks up from her compact mirror/mystic phone, "Nice to finally meet you! Dad's told us so much about you!" She then immediately goes back to her phone.

"Then there's Len- Wait, where's Leni?"

 **SPLASH!**

"IS THIS THE CAR POOL LANE!?"

Shouts Leni from the car she just drove into the pool...

Marco shakes his head at this but moves on, "This is Luna."

"ROCK IT!" Shouts Luna as sjumps onto the table and rocks her guitar so loud that Star falls over.

Marco laughs at this, "Luan."

"Nice to meet you", says Luan as she reaches over her hand to shake hers.

Star leans over to so that...then her eyes suddenly widen. Then smirks as she grabs the hand in a way that forces Luan to clamp down on the joybuzzer in her hand shocking her. "No, nice to meet YOU." Said Star with a smile.

The rest of the family applauds Star while Luan chuckles while coughing out some smoke, "Wow dad, you weren't kidding she IS awesome."

Marco nods then continues, "And this is Lynn-

YAAHHHH!" Shouted Lynn as she jumped Star.

"WARNICORN STAMPEDED!" Shouted Star effortlessly, Lynn shouted as the magic horses forcibly dragged her through the wall and out of sight.

Hekapoo sighed, "I'll go get her...again." She flies off...

Marco sighs, "Sorry about Lynn, that's just how she greets people..." He then turns to the only other guy in the room, "And this is my son, Lincoln."

Lincoln blushes as Star looks at him, "Uh...hey Star! Wow, Dad...he told us so much about you...but your WAY better in person." He said awkwardly as he starts to sweat.

The sisters giggle at that knowingly at this while Star just feels conflicted, _"Is Marco's son... crushing on me? Wow, that's a new level of awkward I didn't know was even possible."_

She then notices something; "I thought they were supposed to look like a mix of both of you?" She asks pointing at his hair.

"What? He has Marco's and mines skin color. It's just mine is in the form of his white hair." Says Hekapoo as she floats down with a groaning Lynn in her arms.

Lisa groans, "That is 'not' how genetics work mother."

Ignoring this, Marco moves on.

"Then we have -LUCY!" Shouts Marco as a bat-winged, black-dressed demon swoops down out of nowhere startling everyone.

Lucy looked at Star, "I won't lie, you seem nice I'd like to TRY and be friends...but I don't do happy and perky." She admitted bluntly.

"Uh...good to know?" Said Star both confused AND creeped out.

Marco sighed but continued, "And then we have the twins lana and Lola-

Twin blurs jumped onto Star knocking her over. "ICAN'TBELIVEITYOURAREALPRINCESSBEMYNEWSISTERPLEASE!" Squealed a demon dressed as a pink, frilly Princess.

The tomboyish twin is equally excited, "YOURTOTTALLYKICKASS!SHOWMETHATTHINGYOUDIDWITHLYNNPLEASE!"

It took the combined effort of both Hekapoo and Marco to drag them off a bewildered Star.

Marco pants from the effort, "Right let's just rap this up, last we have Lisa."

"Nice to meet you." Said Lisa as she adjusted her glasses.

Star waited for her to do anything else...

"I'm not going to do anything unless you want me to." Assured Lisa...

Star let out a sigh of relief, then tries to take this all in. "Your grown up...you have kids...your MARRIED... This is all so surreal." She looks up at the boy she thought she knew -and kinda crushed on- and the demon she'd been Taught to respect and fear.

"How did this happen?"

Marco smirks, "Well...that's a Loooong Story." He settles down and begins the tale...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

**A tangled web we cut**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

My first few... 'attempts' to just defeat one of Hekapoo's clones...did not go well." Conceded Marco.

Hekapoo chuckled, "That's putting it mildly..."

...years ago...

 **SNEAK ATTACK!**

Shouts Marco as he jumps from above-

 **CRACK!**

And gets rewarded with a smack to the nuts...

"Really? You shouted, 'sneak attack?" Asked the clone incredulously.

Marco just groans...

...later...

A Hekapoo clone leisurely walks through a jungle-

 **FWOOM!**

And burns Marco as he silently tries to get the drop on him, "Better." She states flatly and keeps walking...

...Much later...

Hekapoo clone 537 eats a sandwich happily, "This kind of poison might work on lesser demons but not someone of my stature." She says out loud while continuing to eat the poisoned sandwich without pause or really even opening her mouth.

"Dang it." Says Marco out loud from behind a bush, then quickly covers his mouth realizing he just gave his position away-

 **FWOOM!**

...Much, much later...

Marco groaned as his aching nude body slide itself into the hot spring. He pants exhausted, "Okay...I'll call it a day...resume the hunt tomorrow when I've recuperated. Man, I'm so glad there was a naturally occurring spring nearby-

"It actually, isn't." Said a familiar voice, Marco gulped and turned around to see a naked heekapoo clone scrubbing herself in the water- the intense heat of her body being the true source of the hot springs heat -Marco quickly tried to reach for his clothes-

 **FWOOM!**

-Only to see them all reduced to cinders. "Why don't you just sit down and stay ahile?" Asked the clone suggestively as she sauntered forward unashamed of her nudity-

...

"EWW! DAD! We don't want to hear about stuff like that!" Shouts Lori.

"You sure? I spent the next year chasing his cute naked butt and burning both his clothes and pubic hair." Said Heekpoo fondly.

Marco sighed...he'd been arrested and flogged multiple times across multiple dimensions for 'indecent exposure'...still, made his comeback the 5 years after THAT all the sweeter.

Lisa sighed and stood up, "At the risk of forcing my already queasy siblings to endure more of this, I think it be best if we speed this along. She the whips out a gun and zaps Star in the head.

...

 _"again with hitting my bald spot!" Shouts Marco as he rubs the spot on his head that Hekapoo had burnt through._

...

 _Marco stabbed the Mexican vampire in the heart..._

...

 _"I AM THE GREAT AND MIGHTY POO!" Shouts the scatological nightmare that attacked Marco._

 _..._

 _Marco helped the infant dragon escape the upside down city just as a the demonic and grinning moon fell from the sky and killed everyone the poor guy had ever know and loved..._

 _..._

 _"By this sword do you promise to vanquish the demon Hekpoo?" Asked the inquisitor as he handed the grand blade to their star pupil._

 _...Nah, I'm staring to like her." Said Marco as he lopped off the inquisitors head..._

 _..._

Star spasmed on the floor as all the memories were downloaded into her cerebellum. With no other options, they put her to bed and punished Lisa...

Tomorrow...tomorrow they'd decide things...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	4. Chapter 4

**A tangled web we cut**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

It took a couple days but Star awoke, she'd gotten some goo memories...but a lot of them were corrupted, so once again she sits down with Marco and his family for another talk

"You still haven't explained how you went from "I need to beat her to get home" to "I'm gonna settle down with her and forget about everybody back home." Pointed out Star.

Marco sighed "...Round about the time I figured everybody had probably moved past mourning me and moved on with their lives without me and dropping in after years and years of being gone would more than likely destroy whatever sense of peace they'd managed to create."

"I wasn't a big enough idiot to think that I could just walk up to Jackie and pick up where we left off after so many years when she'd probably gotten a new boyfriend or husband or whatever. We were just kids. Each others first dates. The chances we'd stay together forever like so many romance novels was slim to none."

"I figured by the time I was eighteen I'd long since past the point where any girl in real life would stop 'waiting for me on a cliff overlooking the sea' and had to accept that when I went back home I was gonna be that jerk who disappeared one day...but I couldn't come back yet, otherwise I was gonna be that lazy jerk who couldn't be trusted. If I was gonna come home, I was at least going to show I was noble enough to stick to my guns and take responsibility...And then she told me she was pregnant with Lori."

"It was in a hut in a village we saved. We'd been getting closer for a while. We'd reached 'witty banter during combat' at that stage. I was still trying to take her down, but hey, 'you' try chasing after a gorgeous girl for years on end without developing some kind of positive relationship with her-

"Charmer." Interrupted Hekapoo with a smirk.

Lola rubbed her temples annoyed, "Can we keep the story going please?"

Marco nodded, "Right. Anyway. Even though I was still chasing her, their were times were we called a time out to deal with other things. That one time I'd contracted ghostpox in the middle of nowhere with no healer or hospitals, she'd swarmed by camp with dozens of her clones to nurse me back to health. Or when a nearby village with being tormented by a Asurogre, an eight armed ogre. We'd drop our chase to help them."

"It was after we'd done something like the latter. Running in and saving the day and everything...I'd gotten hurt. Real bad saving Hekapoo's life. We stopped a horde of...I wanna say orks? (looks at Hekapoo, who gives the 'nnnnnn close enough?' expression) Yeah orks. The town cheered for us before giving me a place to rest and get healed in. She helped me stay upright as we went inside...then she smacked me in the back of the head."

Hekapoo rolled her eyes, "You 'saved the life' of a clone you idiot! You don't have to take out every one of us yourself. This one getting poofed by an ork would have still counted to your quest!"

Marco laughed, "Yeah. And you know what I said?"

Star shakes her head.

Marco smirked, "I told her I forgot. I just saw someone I care about to get killed and reacted."

"And then we banged." Interrupted Hekapoo.

All of her kids retched, "Ewwwww! MOM!"

Marco sighs, "Well technically we got my serious wounds healed up first...but yes, we did sleep together after that."

Marco goes silent as he remembers how it happened. Not wanting to shock the kids. Buuuut...

...many years ago...

Marco is pulling his jacket back on over his bandaged chest that Hekapoo was just finished wrapping. A Hekapoo clone stood behind him.

"Your crazy if you think your ready to get back to the quest. Your nowhere near back to a hundred percent Muscles." She chided with the nickname she'd started giving him after he grew into a hunk.

Marco shrugged, "I feel fine. I don't want to waste anymore time than I have to."

Hekapoo chuckled, "Spending time with me without trying to kill each other is a waste of time to you now? And here I thought you were starting to enjoy my intimate company."

Marco laughed," I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. But we'll have plenty of time to get intimate with each other."

Hekapoo was silent...

Marco continued to pack up, "I won't blow out this clones flame just now. It's too easy and kind of a cheat. I'll take nacho's and head north. I heard there a couple dozen of you in the mountains."

Again, Hekapoo was silent. "...yeah."

Marco winched as he held his chest a little. "later H-poo."

Hekapoo frowned, "...Marco. Were not done here. Your not done healing."

"I said I'm fine. I just need to go easy on it and give it some TLC along the way." Said Marco without looking back at her.

Hekapoo smirked, "Exactly."

Marco Hears the sound of clothes hitting the floor. He Turns around to see Hekapoo standing there naked. Stunned she easily manages to push him back onto the bed before sitting on his legs to pin him...

"Where done with the basics. But I still think you need some...intimate healing from H-poo." Said Hekapoo suggestively.

Marco although stunned still managed a retort, "I thought you hated that name."

Hekapoo chuckles, "It's grown on me -starts loosening his belt- speaking of which..."

...

Marco is thankful he didn't tell Star that. Especially not with the kids present. Though Hekapoo's blush indicates she was 'also' thinking of that time.

Marco continued the story, "I poofed that clone the next day. But what I didn't know was that while I had my back turned she switched places with her clone without a sound. So I was sleeping with the 'real' Hekapoo all night...my reward for being so chivalrous."

Star blushes, _"ALL NIGHT?!"_ She thinks to herself amazed.

Marco continues on, "We fell asleep a while later, or at least I did then she switched herself out with a clone who wouldn't let me up without blowing out her flame... Then 4 months later she walked into a cave I was camping in. I wondered what was going on since I was still supposed to be hunting her. And then she showed me her baby bump."

Hekapoo shrugged, "I had no idea I 'could' get pregnant. That I 'was' pregnant or what was happening to me for months. Just that I was putting on weight and feeling really emotional."

Marco nodded, "Her clones didn't look it either. They resemble her from when she made them. They don't 'update' physically...mentally on the other hand they remain connected so she can control and see through them. I wondered why some were suddenly so aggressive while others were so weepy."

Hekapoo sighed, "I had no idea what was happening until I tried to get a drink at my favorite bar and they told me that they couldn't serve a pregnant woman. A quick trip to a hospital in another dimension later and yeah, I had something important I needed to tell the stud here."

Marco smirks, "Nothing quite shocks a man like being told 'your gonna be a daddy'. I told her I'd stop the quest..."

Hekpaoo glared, "And I told him not to even dare."

Star frowned, "Wait. You were pregnant with his baby. And you still wanted him to quest?...Well that seems stupid. Wouldn't you want him in the kids life?

Lori glared, "That kid has a name..."

Hekapoo rolled her eyes, "Hello. Clones."

Marco nodded, "We called off the hunt until Lori was born, and then resumed it after. If Lori wasn't with her mom, then she was with me and a clone."

Hekapoo: Then one evening...it just happened again. Then again...and again, and again, and again, and again- Said Hekapoo with a satisfied smirk as her kids got more green.

Marco mercifully cut her off, "By that point I think we were doing days off from it so Lori could spend time with the both of us for real."

Hekapoo continued, "We finished up the trial by about the time Luna was just starting to use the potty (a mortified Luna had to endure her giggling siblings)...but he still didn't want to leave."

Marco shrugged, "How could I? I'd thought returning would just destroy everyone back there, and more importantly I the had three wonderful daughters and the love of the most beautiful woman in the multiverse. I had no reason to leave."

Hekapoo blushes, "Awww. Keep up the sweet talk and we just might have another little surprise in a few months."

Marco smirked, "Really? Then let me say how wonderful a woman you are and..."

Everyone quickly coughs into their hands except Leni.

The two lovebirds quickly pull back from each other.

Leni rolls her eyes annoyed, "Horndogs."

Everyone looks at her weird.

Leni looks at them even more annoyed, "What? Just because I'm not smart doesn't mean I'm stupid." She said flatly.

"Annnyway." Said Star hoping to quickly move the subject along, "What are you going to do now Marco? The fact is, no one home has 'moved on' there didn't even know their was something to 'move on' from! Your parents, your friends, Jackie, ME. What are you going to do about all that!?"

Marco groaned, "I talked about that with Hekapoo...and we got the idea maybe we should move to earth."

His kids perked up with interest. "Really?" Asked Lincoln excited. Marco nodded, "Yeah, it's no secret you guys aren't happy here. And honestly, I'd you to learn more of the human side of your heritage...more importantly you guys really need to hang with more kids your age...and less galatic horrors and savage beasts."

"I've never had any problem with that." Said Lucy with a smile.

Marco sighed, "Sweetie we love you...but that's more of a red flag then anything."

Lucy shrugs, fades into the shadows and joins her demon friends on the town...

Both parents simply look in the direction she'd left.

"This decision was long overdue."

"Agreed."

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	5. Chapter 5

**A tangled web we cut 5**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

Raphael and Angie where quietly widdling the hours away-

 **ZAP!**

They didn't give a second thought to the sound of an interdimesional portal coming from the next room, they were used to it.

"Ah man, what happened to my hot bod!?" "Squish."

Again, they gave this strange conversation no mind, they heard weirder...even before Star came into their lives now that they thought about it...

...well, regardless. If it was important their son would seek aide...

"Uh Mom, Dad. I have something I need to talk to you about."

-Speak of the devil!

The two turn and see their son half come out his room, holding the door like so many do when they don't want anyone else to see inside.

Seeing the dour look on his sons face Raphael calmed his normally enthusiastic demeanor.

"Of course son. What is the matter."

"Well...I've got a problem with...girls."

He perked up again.

"Oh ho. Lady problems with Jackie. Well no matter, your a fine young man. I'm certain whatever troubles you having your relationship and love will prevail."

"Well that just it Dad...I...dangit I used to be better at this...it's...not about Jackie."

That sent his parent through a loop. Not about Jackie? The girl their son had very poorly hidden he'd been madly in crush with since first grade?

"Well son. Were certainly surprised, but we'll listen none the less."

"Alright. Just...dah." He turned into his room "This is complicated. You better come out."

Whatever they were prepared for, they most certainly were not prepared for a beautiful auburn Latina several years his senior. Looking up at them nervously and rubbing her arm nervously.

The fact she had horns, yellow eyes and a small flame flickering above her head didn't really matter as much as the fact he'd brought an older girl home with him

Raphael was stuck in that odd sort of limbo were he didn't know whether to harshly punish his son for going behind Jackie's back, or bust out the cigars and give him a high five. Standard procedure was to wait and see what Angie did first before acting to lower the chance of sleeping on the couch tonight.

"My goodness. Son I had no idea." Angie's voice was happy if a little strained "You'll certainly have some explaining to do. I'm certainly surprised about you giving up on Jackie, but you did the right thing telling us before anything went to far."

Marco grit his teeth nervously as his mom approached Lori.

"It's a pleasure to meet my sons new girlfriend." She leaned in the nosey manner all mothers were prone to do to embarrass their children "So tell me how did my little Marco manage to woe such a…." She looked down for a split second "...healthy beauty into his arms."

"MOM!"

"Oh relax Marco. Thats just a little bit of harmless teasing. It's expected for parents to embarrass their children in front of their partners."

"MOM! She's not my girlfriend."

"Nonsense. What's your name dear."

"Lori."

"Lori? And what's that short for dear."

"Lore lei Angela Diaz."

"Lorelei Angela D...I'm sorry what was that?"

Their son grimaced as the miles started slipping from their faces. He turned back into his room "Could you let the rest of them come out, please?"

Their was a short burst of laughter from inside his room before their was more movement behind the boy.

Whatever they had been prepared to say died on his tongue as more girls, and a boy came out from behind him. Teens and kids. some with skin as white as bleached bone. All with horns. All with flames flickering between those horns, and one girl with a wicked looking guitar that looked 'exactly', as in the complete, spitting image of Angie from when she was younger.

"Hey gramps." She waved back at them.

"...Son. I think we would like to hear your explanation now."

Then as if to top it off, another horned beauty came out of the room, moving around the small army only to drape her arms around their sons neck and squash her cheek against his in a clearly affectionate nuzzle.

"You might want to put on a pot of coffee. Cause this is a long story, and we all drink the stuff."

The black haired one with the bangs spoke up "I'll take mine black."

"With extra cream and six sugars?" The one with braces wrapped around her fangs butted in.

"...yes."

"Dad. You know it's fine to show that your mad right?"

"Ohhoho. Mijo. How could I be mad at you for this?"

"Because you've been not so much smiling as you've been grinding your teeth for the last twenty minutes."

The Diaz family, and yes Angie and Raphael had found that everyone that had emerged from his sons room save for the Mewman princess were indeed part of their family, had retired to the den while the safety kid and his...wife...partner...whatever, explained everything that had happened in the 20 plus years/ ten minutes that he'd been away. Introducing each of his children as he did so while his parents just sat there, stock still to take it all in. Which worried him quite a lot given how open and unphased by everything his folks usually were.

In fact, it looked very much like his father had turned into a kettle and was very slowly starting to boil. Tightening his fists, tapping his feet, biting his lip

"I'm just...processing the...joy I feel for turning my back for 10 minutes and finding myself the grandfather of nearly a dozen children, of which roughly half are as old as, if not older than their father...who thought chasing after a demon in a dangerous parallel world for twenty years was a more sensible action than simply admitting to losing a pair of scissors that his friend is not actually supposed to have...so much joy"

Angie, who looked like she was holding together barely better than her husband pet his muscular arm "Dear. I really don't think this is healthy for moving forward."

Marco sighed and stood up from the couch and moved right in front of his dad. Looking him square in the eye just like he'd done to countless other bigger, strong but less threatening beasts before "Dad. I might look like a kid again, but mentally I'm still for the most part and adult. If you wanna yell at me. Trust me I've experienced wor..."

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!?" The kettle boiled over and Raphael leapt up from the couch to yell in his sons face, who impressively did not even flinch from the sudden outburst.

"Look. I get that your mad about me leaving everything behind and coming back with all these kids. I understand that this is way to soon for you to suddenly be grandparents and I don't expect you to be happy about it but..."

"ARE YOU POCO LOCO IN THE COCO!? OF COURSE I'M HAPPY TO HAVE GRANDCHILDREN! I'M OVER THE MOON HAPPY! I INSTANTLY LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM WITH THE SAME WARMTH AND CARE THAT I FEEL FOR YOU AND YOUR MOTHER!"

"If your not mad at the kids and your not mad at me for marrying Hekapoo. Then what are you mad at!"

"I'M MAD BECAUSE MY SON GREW INTO A MAGNIFICENT MAN WITHOUT ME!"

The room went silent at Raphael took several deep breaths and seemed to calm down.

"You grew up all alone in a world were everything was trying to kill you. You grew up strong, self sufficient. Brave and compassionate. You won the love of a woman whose beauty is matched only by your mothers and created a genuine loving relationship over the course of 'years'...and when the time came for you to take up the ultimate responsibility a man can undertake, you did so without a moments hesitation. You grew into a wonderful man and raised a wonderful family...and you did it without any help from your mama or papi."

"Dad..."

"Were supposed to be there to help you with these things. I had your first car picked out and everything, then you come through a flaming hole in the fabric of reality riding a living motorcycle which I can only imagine is harder to master than a non living one. I never got to teach you how to shave, or about the birds and the bees...which you 'clearly' learned for yourself."

"We honestly thought it was impossible the first time." The boy scratched his head embarrassingly. Hekapoo just giggled while their children either rolled their eyes or stuck their fingers down their throat.

"Yes. But still. All those important milestones a father or a mother can share only once with their child has passed us by. It doesn't matter if you are a boy again my son. You said it yourself, you are an adult in mind simply waiting for your mind to catch up to your body."

The man folded over. His face the very picture of sorrow. So it came as a surprise when his adult but not adult son walked up to him and wrapped his arms around him. The man was surprised, but only for a second before he smiled and pulled his son into a hug of his own.

"Heh. I thought you would think hugging your father would be unmanly."

"Being a man means doesn't mean being an unfeeling hard-ass dad. I learned that from you."

"M-miho!" He cried and tightened his grip around his son. Who bore the pain and didn't let out as much as a grunt of discomfort. Though he did jump a little in shock when Angie joined in from the other side.

"Awwwwww." Were the all to appropriate response of eight girls.

They three were about to let go when they felt something butt against there legs and then wrap themselves around them. Looking down they see four soft orange eyes staring up at them.

"Hi." They answered at the same time in the adorable manner only young twins could. Then flashing their grandparents a smile that had spaces were their other siblings and mom had fangs poking out their mouths.

"I'm Lana." Informed the one with her horns poking through a tattered and faded red red page boy hat and wearing worn leather overalls.

"I'm Lola." Supplied the one wearing an entirely too pink version of her mothers dress and a little tiara.

"Are you our abiloni?" Asked the little tomboy.

"It's albani stupid!" The little princess snapped at her sister

"Who're you calling stupid! Stupid!" The tiny flame between her horns sparking as her rage flared.

"YOU STUPID!" Her sister shot back while her own flame flared up even more.

"Girls! Not in your grandparents not yet fireproofed house!" Marco said to his daughters firmly. Normally that would be enough to settle the case. However that was back when he had a deeper and more authoritative voice than the higher pitch of a young man whose voice had yet to finish breaking. So rather than stop they continued heedless of their father pleas not to set the house ablaze "I said stop!" He cried out as their fires continued to flare higher. He tried pulling himself out of the hug to separate the two but found himself held firmly in place.

"Dad can you let go and...dad?" He paused in his worry about immolation when he saw tears pricking at his fathers smiling face "Dad is the fire getting..."

"ABUELO!" The yell was so loud it almost rattled the windows before he scooped the little demon girl holding his legs up in his arms and brought her into the hug proper. Laughing as the girl squeaked in surprise and her roaring blaze turned back into a barely sparking ember. "It is Abuelo little one. I...am your abuelo." He said with barely restrained happiness.

"Hey! What about me!? The little princess of X-103 asked while shaking a fist at the adults, before being lifted herself into the other side of the hug by a pair of slimmer arms.

"And I'm your Abuel'a'." Angie giggled before booping the little dear on the nose which caused her flame to poof out like somebody switched the gas off. "But if it's easier you can call us Grampa and Grandma."

The little girl stared at her for a split second before breaking out into another toothy toothless smile and burying her face in the woman's neck.

Marco turned to their audience, who were watching with apprehension, just waiting to see what they should do next.

"Come on kids." He said warmly "Come meet your grandparents."

You didn't have to tell them twice. Everyone including the little brainiac and her doom and gloom sister had their arms all wrapped around the three Diaz's in a big tangled mass of limbs and love.

Also fire.

"Haha! My mustache is incinerating!" The patriarch laughed as the flames from the little brunette warrior below him to start disintegrating "The smell of burning hair is very unpleasant."

Luan decided now was the perfect time to show her grampa her specialty "I guess this is what you call a 'not so hairy' situation. Hahaha, get it?"

To her utter delight "Haha! I do!"

Marco looked through the Diaz cocoon to see his better half sitting on the couch watching them with a half smile and her arms crossed.

He tilted his head sharply towards the hug huddle "You too sweetheart. Your part of this family too whether you like it or not."

"Mmmmmm nahhh. I'd like to, but the kids have my spot." She joked while indicating where she'd like to hug. He blushed a little.

"Heh heh. I can't do any of that for a while H-poo."

She shrugged "I can wait two minutes."

The two laughed at the joke that made light of everything that had happened before she decided 'what the hey' and join in. The layer of kids pulled open to draw her into the parental core of the mass with their dad. Leaving only the princess un-hugged and feeling quite out of place.

Star stared at the group of smiling and laughing Diaz's for a moment before turning to head upstairs.

"Star, you OK?" Marco asked while partially muffled by the mass of red hair that belonged to either one of his daughters or his partner.

Star whirled around with the same kind of look a child gave when they were caught with their hand in the cookie jar "Yeah. I'm fine. Everything's fine. I'm just...gonna go...get something from my room...be right back!" The nervous smile didn't leave her face as she somehow managed to walk backwards upstairs.

Marco and Hekapoo shared a look.

"Well. Thats worrying."

Someone in the hug let out a groan "Can I stop hugging now? My arms fallen asleep."

Their grandfather laughed "HAHA...no!"

Star back-pedalled all the way up the stairs until she hit her door. Reaching behind her and frantically jiggling the handle to let herself inside before moulding herself behind it like she was keeping out a hoard of rabid beasts. Taking deep, panicked breaths.

"OK Star. Everything's OK. Everything it totally OK. Your best friend just went through a few teeny tiny big huge humongous massive life altering changes in the span of ten minutes heh heh. It's fine it's fine….." She pulled out her wand and conjured up the fluffiest pillow to ever fluff, held it against her face and screamed like a muffled banshee into it. "Everything gonna be OK."

After screaming into the pillow a few more times she decided she couldn't stall any longer and dragged her feet over to her mirror.

"Everything fine. Everything is good."

"Well I should hope so."

Star jumped back with her wand at the ready to narwhal blast the heck out of whatever foul creature had said that. Only to lower it when she recognised the foul creature as being her magic tutor.

"Glosseryck? What what what are you doing here?"

"At the moment? Using my down time to learn a new language. And I figured that since were living with the Diaz's I might as well start here." He skimmed over the book floating in front of him " Donede Esta El Bano?"

"Whets that?"

"The most overused Spanish phrase on television." He looked over the book again "Hey pudin en mi barba. Give my beard pudding."

"That...doesn't sound right."

"And that is why my dear we prrrrrractice!" He stated before floating the book back to the shelf with more care than he'd ever shown any of 'her' property. "Nw then. What's wrong?"

"Whaaaat? Psh. Nothing wro-ong? Why, why would anything be wrong?"

The little blue man picked his teeth with a pick as long as he was tall then flicked it away "Because whenever any queen I've ever taught has started to say nothing wrong, it's usually punctuated by a huge explosion and slash or something catching fire. And I happen to quite like the brownies the boys father makes. So I'd really rather there still be a house for them to be made in. Is that it Star? Something about to blow up or catch fire downstairs?"

She waved him off "Oh relax Glosseryck. Nothings gonna blow up." She laughed while moving back to block the door.

He smacked his lips a little and gave her 'a look' "Uh huh. And the part about fire?"

Star's grin grew painfully wide and her eyes stared darting around "Oh, uh yeah! That to heheheh."

His 'the look' deepened "I'm going downstairs." He stated before floating towards the window.

"NO WAIT!" She yelled before committing to the most logical action at the time. Grabbing Glosseryck out of the air and crashing to the floor.

Star grunted from the impact and took a deep breath...right before her hands started glowing, pulling apart to reveal Glosseryck with the exact same 'the look' as before as if that was all that was needed to tell her how smart an idea that was.

"OK Star. I'll bite. What happened?" He asked in an unusually serious tone "It's obvious that you don't want something found out. But the way your acting says that's its not something that can really be hidden."

"I...uh...I"

The little mans 'the look' turned into a full-blown glare for a moment before e dropped it and sighed.

"Star. It's my job to teach you magic. Not politics. But do you really think whatever this is about will just go away if you act like it doesn't exist?"

Star's smile didn't drop in the slightest. But she slowly shook her head.

"Is it bigger than a breadbox?"

She nodded slowly. Tears pricking the corner of her eye from smiling so much.

"Marco?"

Another nod.

"All those portals in his room?"

"So that means Hekapoo is involved." He stroked his beard "Should we tell your mother?"

"NO!"

He shrugged "Alright then, then tell me. Is it juicy?"

"Nnngghh."

He huffed like a six year old "Oh come on. Teeeellll me. I'm trustworthy." He pulled himself up and coughed into his hand, straightening his beard "Star I'm the Butterfly family's most trusted advisor. I'm older than recorded history and wiser than the Stars. I think I'll know how to help with whatever is going on." He batted his eyes at her "Now come on. Tell Grampa Glossaryryck what's wrong."

The future queen of Mewni chewed her lip in thought, before relenting.

"Weeeellll."

 **...two minutes later...**

"…...yyyeeaahhh. You should call you mother." He said plainly while not meeting her eyes.

Star threw up her hands and got all up in his face "I thought you said you were wiser than the Stars!"

He shrugged "Stars are giant balls of gas floating in space. That's not hard….*pffft*"

The princess scrambled back holding her nose and coughing.

"However a Star is also a young princess who still has a lot to learn before she takes her mothers throne. Princess, your mother 'is' going to find out soon enough one way or the other. How mad she is going to be depends entirely on whether you tell her yourself, or she finds out at the next High Magic Commission meeting when Hekapoo starts pulling out baby pictures?"

The young blonde groaned. For someone only just wiser than a flaming fart in space, he was still pretty wise.

"Can I at least blame Pony head for giving me the scissors?"

"I'd be disappointed if you didn't."

Dragging herself back to the mirror felt like she was walking the green mile. Looking up at it like it came to life and kicked a laser puppy. She stood straight. Head held high and….

"Call…...mom."

The mirror blanked out out as the call was made. Stretching the moments between rings into painful eternities with what her experiences on Earth told her were painfully dated noises.

On the eighth ring Star lost her nerve and cut off the call. Whirling around on her heel visibly relieved "Welp we tried. But it looks like she's not there….Glosseryck?"

The blue midget was nowhere to be seen.

The door was open.

"Oh crud."

The mirror phone lit back up before the regal image of Moon Butterfly appeared in full regalia.

"Sorry about that dear. We were just listening to a petition from a rather persistent farmer. What was it you were calling about?"

Star looked over her shoulder with one wild straining eye. Slowly turning around, Moon recognised that expression on her daughter any day of the week.

Her concerned look fell flat as her tone "Star, what did you do?"

"Nothing…...directly?"

Moon stared off into the distance for a moment before pinching the bridge of her nose "Alright then. What did you do 'indirectly'?"

"Well heh heh. Mom, your gonna laugh..."

"Oh no."

"You remember how Pony Head was gonna be sent to Madame Olga's?"

...

"So then her clones ha ha. Her clones all start pranking 'each other. And Luan here starts jumping and shrieking from all the memories she got every time one got poofed."

The entire family laughed save for the pale brunette who was sulking in her seat with her arms folded. Looking quite sour.

"It's not that funny!"

Lincoln smirked up at his big sister from his seat on the floor at his dads feet "No. The fact that it went on for four months however 'is'."

That sent another wave of laughter through the family while the girl went as red as some of her siblings hair.

"AHAHAHAH! Aahhhh, family." Raphael breathed the word out in a contented sigh.

"Yeah." His son concurred.

The older man turned to his boy "So son. What do you intend to do next?"

Marco looked at him before turning down to stare at his hands, before a bone white hand was placed over his. He smiled at the woman he'd given his everything to before addressing his parents "Well dad, mom. Me and Hekapoo..."

"Hekapoo and I, father." Lisa corrected.

"Thank you sweety. Hekapoo and I were talking..." They squeezed each others grip. "...And decided that it was in the best interest for the kids to stay on Earth and go to school with me."

"Well that certainly sounds like an idea son but…." His mother, the ever much less eccentric of his parents spoke up "...we simply don't have the room to house another eleven people. Let alone where we'll get the money to feed and cloth all of them."

The young/old couple looked at each other and laughed.

"Oh no. Trust us you don't have to worry about that." Hekapoo said right before she whipped out a pair of scissors and casually cut a whole in the fabric of reality like it was paper. Sticking her hand inside it she picked around in it for a moment like she was trying to dislodge a pine nut from her teeth, right before a stream of gold started to pour out of it like she was literally making it rain. Closing the swirling doorway only when a pile of valuables as tall as their spookiest of their spawn sat on the floor. Before they could ask the Five W and H (Who, What, When, Where, why and How) she replied.

"You'd be surprised what you collect when your older than most dimensions invention of currency and no need to spend it on anything except a good drink every once in a while. So trust me money is a none issue." She turned into her crowd of kids. "And as for clothing them? Well, show em sweetie"

Leni looked up at her parents, who nodded. She squealed in joy before four more arms sprouted from her sides in a flash of fire, then punched on Lynn who didn't even get a chance to shriek in horror before her sister was on her like a ginger tornado.

Everyone backed up as the two became a blur of movement. Obscured by sporadic fire and the opening and closing of a dozen small portals around them. The sound of scissors, both dimensional and mundane snipping away like gas powered hedge clippers filled the air.

It lasted all of twenty seconds for the demon twister in the middle of the room to come to a halt, but once it did Leni was standing there, her extra arms vanishing as quickly as they appeared in a puff of smoke, and grasping her hand in delight at the sight of her proud warrior sister, who was now wearing an almost exact copy of her own yellow outfit.

"DANGIT LENI! You know I hate dresses!"

"Aww. But now we totally match. We could totally pass for twins and get confused for each other now."

"I doubt that," She grumbled.

"Amazing." Angie said breathlessly while looking over the spontaneous dress "Such quality stitching. But, you do know you could simply buy clothes correct?"

Marco laughed into his hand at his second eldest open jaw "Yeah. But she likes to do it herself so much that we just buy or skin material for her to use. We haven't needed to 'buy' clothes for ages."

"And as for space in which to house us grandparental units" The little demonic brainiac adjusted her literal horn rimmed glasses in the universal action all smart people did before the started showing off "Rather than the lengthy and irritating process of acquiring property or land for development and residence, we have instead opted to build upon the idea of the heiress of the Mewman kingdom and both folded fractal space along the masonry to expand upon the minimalistic dimensions and..."

"She said were gonna make the house bigger on the inside than it is on the outside." The white hair boy cut the story short.

Hekapoo counted off on her claws "So that's money, clothes are a non-factor and space for us all to stay. Does that cover everything?

The eldest Diaz's looked at each other for a moment then broke back into smiles.

"Works for us!"

The crowd of eleven kids and on pseudo demon of fathomless age cheered.

"And you thought this was gonna be hard." Joked Hekapoo.

He shrugged "I guess I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop."

A show goes skidding into the middle of the room.

The room goes silent.

Then another shoe slides in.

Everyone slowly follows the path of the arc to see a tiny blue guru floating in mid air.

"Oh I don't know. I think 'I' might have a few questions."

"Hey Glosseryck." Marco waved awkwardly while managing not to wilt under the powerful mages look.

Luna looked at him quizzically, wondering why her pops and ma were so worried "No offense little dude but who are ya? Who? Who?"

"Our father refereed to him as Glosseryck. Therefore it is easy to surmise that this is sir Glosseryck of Terms. Tutor of the mystic arts to the Butterfly matriarchy and creator of the High Magic Commission and all of its non Butterfly members, including our own mother."

The sage nodded sagely "Indeed I am young o…."

"WAIT!" Interrupted the strawberry blonde second eldest

Everyone turned to her.

"Does that mean your our grampa?"

"What? No it..."

Once again the little sage found himself interrupted. This time by the identical little monsters squeezing him like a doll.

"GRAM PA!" They echoed each other and making his ears ring from point blank range.

"I'm not your gram pa!" He protested.

"Gram pa!" Lana repeated.

"I'm not your gram pa!"

"Gram pa!" Lola repeated.

"I'm not your gram pa!

"You want some pudding gram pa?" Leni offered while holding up a pudding cup.

"OK I'm your grampa."

The twins cheered as their big sister started shoveling semi liquid chocolate goo into their grandfathers mouth. Hekapoo and Marco slid down in their chairs.

"Phew. That's our kids." the scissor forger mused as the children started talking with her creator, whose blank expression had turned into a smile she'd seen whenever a new Butterfly was born.

"Leni always was good at removing the tension from the room without trying to."

Marco nodded "Yeah. Remember when the girls were arguing over who got to hold Lincoln first, and she just walked up without a word and gave him a spoon of pudding?"

His 'wife' smiled "Yeah. He ended up joined at the hip with her until the others started bribing him with pudding to."

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree then." She noted while watching Glosseryck turn from an animated conversation with Lucy and only grandson to be fed another bite of pudding by Leni, right before she also shoved a mouthful into her brothers mouth as well.

The both chuckled.

"...You think h might be were Lincoln gets his white hair?"

"Maybe. It's not like Lisa's argument about genetics really has much weight behind it when their momma was literally made of magic- Does it really matter?"

He shook his head."

"I suppose n..."

That was as far as he got right before he suddenly found himself flash frozen in crystal.

Everyone else barring Glosseryck jumped back in shock. Hekapoo took a deep calming breath and sighed like she' just been told the most dad joke on earth.

"I'm not even surprised."

The crystal headed Cyclops burst into the room, hands on his hips.

"That's what you get for messing with the High Magic Commission fool!" He eye smiled at everybody and turned to Hekapoo.

"Hey Hekapoo. Did ya see how I crystaled that evil guy? Pretty awesome right? I was all like "That's what you get for messing with the High Magic Commission fool!" and he was all like "Oh nooooo! I'm totally trapped in Rhombulus's awesome magic crystal now! If only I hadn't been super evil and junk!" Heh heh. Pretty sweet huh?"

"….."

"Anytime Hekapoo."

"….."

"Don't be shy."

"Hey stupid. I think your being stupid again." His left hand hissed at him with an unmistakable quiver in its voice.

"Huh?" He opened his eye...to see his sister glaring bloody murder at him. Her flame shaped into a skull while her hair sparked and flowed along with it.

"Uh oh." He started backing up. Trying to put his hands in front of him only for them to curl behind him. "Hekapoo, you alright?"

Her words were slow and painful to hear. "Kids. Why don't you say hi to you uncle Rhombulus?"

He stopped back-pedalling and used righty's fangs to scratch his head "Uncle? Kids? Whose ki…."

A boot connected with his face a moment before he was ion his back ad being swarmed by little people.

"Hey! What in the?! Leggo my cape! Watch the face! No you can't keep my hand as a pet! Ow! I needed that to kick evil guys with! OW! YAH! HEY! QUIT! STOP! OK THAT'S IT! CRYSTAL TIME!"

"Rhombulus."

The tone was not particularly strong or harsh, but it was commanding enough that he froze from his freezing non the less when he saw queen Moon standing there with Lekmet who in turn was holding the crystal ball they used to speak to Omnitraxus Prime. Star was of course standing in the background behind her mother.

"Stop playing with the children and free their father."

"Children?" He turned back to the swarm that had attacked him, and his eye widened to see eight pairs of eyes glaring at him, with eight roaring flames in the shape of skulls all floating above them between eight pairs of familiar horns.

It was then that the crystal clyclops played back everything that had happened in the past few minutes, and stopped on two words in particular.

Uncle Rhombulus.

"You? 'Your' Hekapoo's kids?"

Lori rolled her eyes from her spot on the couch next to Lisa who was budy looking over Marco with a notebook "Wow. You figured out the obvious. Your the smartest man in the room."

Lynn grabbed his cape and pulled herself close to him "Thats right jerkclops. And you just froze our dad." She cracked her knuckles. An action taken by several of her siblings "Now 'un'-freeze him, or were gonna turn those arms a yours into snake skin boot!"

His arms gulped "Dude do what she says! I hate my life enough being stuck to your shoulders. I can't take being that close to peoples feet!"

While he unfreezes Marco, Queen Moon turns to the residents owners. "Mr. and Mrs. Diaz? I apologize for the inconvenience, but i'm afraid we must temporarily commandeer your home for this emergency meeting of the High Commission-

"I'LL MAKE SNACKS! Shouts Mr. Diaz.

"I like this guy already", said Lynn...

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Most of this chapter was written by Wolvenstrom. Thanks man!**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


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